Legion the Geth and the Case of the Kitten
by Amberstar of Thunderclan
Summary: "Consensus agreed; rescue of the kitten would improve relations between this platform and Tali-Creator, and possibly organics overall." You guys demanded it, and here it is.


Bullets flew as the squad ran from cover to cover, bit by bit, as the Blue Suns tried-and failed-to shoot down the Geth that was running long the outer upper wall all the while. Shepard leaned out of cover and shot one unfortunate Bartarian in the face.

"Legion, tell me you've got that last console in sight?" She panted into the comms. Her, Garrus, and Grunt's job was to distract the Blue Suns long enough for Tali and Legion to disable the array the mercs had set up. If they didn't succeed, the Blue Suns would be capable of wiping out every source of power in the Terminus Systems and then some, while leaving only themselves with electricity or working weapons.

It would be a massacre

So far, Tali had gotten all the consoles on the west side, but Legion had been held up by a group of unsavory types waiting for it at the previous console.

"We are close to it, Shepard-Commander." the synthetic voice chimed in her ear. Beside her, Garrus swore, clapping one hand on the middle horn of his fringe.

"Did that dirt bag just chip my horn?" he growled, removing his hand to look at the blood. Shepard flinched.

"It's not _that_ bad." she told him. Actually, a considerable chunk of his middle horn was now missing. He gave her a withering look. He brought his hand up to the chipped horn and winced.

"Oh, yes, those are the words that mean 'everything's fine'." he commented sarcastically.

Meanwhile, Legion had found the next, and last, console. But there was a problem in it's way. A fluffy, ginger problem. A fluffly ginger problem with white-tipped ears, underbelly, and tail tip, with tiny sock-like white markings on it's legs. A fluffy ginger problem with tabby markings, amber eyes, and a blue belt around it's neck. A fluffy ginger problem called a kitten.

Legion's optics homed in on the creature. Not friend. Not foe. Neutral party. Animal. Pet. The consensus agreed. The kitten was male, and was sleeping on the console. Most likely, a pet belonging to one of the Blue Suns members. Legion moved forwards. The geth gingerly moved it's hands under the kitten, which woke up.

"Mew?" he squeaked, jaws parting wide in a yawn, revealing a very pink tongue and sharp little fangs. The tag on it's little neck belt read 'Socks'.

"We are removing you from our path; you will be returned to your place of rest when we have disabled the array." Legion said to him. The consensus hadn't agreed to speaking with the kitten. Speaking to the kitten made no logical sense; the kitten couldn't understand. Legion placed the kitten on the floor at it's feet.

Legion got to work on the consol. It froze as it felt something small trying to claw it's way up it's right leg. Legion looked down. The kitten was clinging to it's knee, his tiny claws hooked on the Geth's plating.

"You must remove yourself from this platform's mobile extremities. You will impede mobility of this platform if you do not comply." it told the kitten.

"Mew." it squeaked, trying to launch itself up farther. Legion stopped what it was doing, and pried the kitten off itself. Legion brought it up to eye level, the consensus debating. The kitten felt comfortable in high-up places. Consensus agreed it would continue bothering the platform until it was sufficiently high enough.

Consensus agreed that placing it up high now would result in the kitten ceasing it's efforts to climb the platform.

The Geth placed the kitten on it's head. It then continued to work. The kitten attempted to bat at it's optic light, but soon grew bored of that. The Geth was careful not to dislodge it, as the consensus agreed that dislodging the kitten would result in resumed effort to climb.

"Legion! Status on that array!" Shepard's voice demanded. Gunfire could be heard in the background.

"We are almost complete, Shepard-Commander. Extra firewalls have been put in place on the final console. Manual tampering is required. Tali-Creator assistance would greatly reduce time spent disabling them." Legion responded. The kitten, it did not mention; the consensus agreed, the kitten was irrelevant.

"I'm close. I'll be there in a little." the accented voice came from over the comms.

"Acknowledged." the Geth said. There was suddenly an odd vibration present, and it took a small amount of time for Legion to draw up the conclusion that the kitten was causing this. One tiny paw dangled in front of the Geth's optic while it tried to work. The door to the far left of the room opened, and Legion turned it's head in the direction so fast, it nearly caused the kitten to fall off, the tiny animal mewing in protest. Legion placed it's gun down upon seeing that it was the Quarian, not more Blue Suns.

"Tali-Creator." it acknowledged. Tali, in her usual iciness towards the Geth, approached, only to freeze upon sighting the cat draped over Legion's head. She made a kind of chokeing noise like she was trying not to laugh.

"W-what is that on your head?" she asked.

"Basic feline predatory animal of Earth origin. Irrelevant to current objectives." Legion told her. The Quarian got to work, though still casting looks at the kitten as she did so.

Soon, the array was down, and the gunfire from outside had ceased. The consensus could not agree as to whether this meant allied or enemy victory until communications with Shepard-Commander had been obtained.

"Shepard-Commander, array is now non-functional." Legion announced.

"Good work Legion. You too, Tali. We're just mopping up down here; you both head back to the shuttle." the feminine voice came from over the comms. No negative emotional inflections indicating allied death. Slight hitch of pain in the voice indicating possible injury. Consensus agreed; this platform was not needed to assist Shepard-Commander. Garrus-Vigilante and Grunt-Berserker were in capable parameters of assisting effectively without this platform's presence.

Legion reached up, and took the cat off it's head. He mewed at the Geth in protest, sticking his neck out to try and sniff it's optics. It placed the kitten back on the console, and proceeded to walk away.

"So, you're just going to leave him here?" Tali questioned. An undertone of amusement had temporarily replaced her usual hostilities. Interesting. the Consensus logged it as information to use at a later date.

"The animal is in no danger. He will be left as was when we arrived." Legion told her.

"He's just a baby; he'll die here all on his own!" Tali protested, sounding slightly upset and conflicted. The consensus considered this, and the Geth paused in it's stride towards the door, head tipped as it processed this new knowledge. The animal was irrelevant. Yet Tali-Creator seemed distressed by the possibility of the kitten dying. Could it possibly...?

Consensus agreed; rescue of the kitten would improve relations between this platform and Tali-Creator, and possibly organics overall.

Legion turned and walked back to the console, picked the kitten up in it's arms, and walked back out the door. As soon as it was gone, Tali couldn't hold back the giggles trying to burst their way out her chest. She'd made sure to get a good picture of it; sure, she had her animosity towards Legion, but no-one, not even a Quarian, could deny that the sight of a small, fluffy animal trying to take a nap on a Geth's head was funny. Kal'Reegar was going to bust his suit laughing when he saw this...

* * *

Shepard still couldn't believe the Collectors had gotten her ENTIRE FREAKING CREW! At least Joker was okay(as could be, anyway); his fragile bones probably wouldn't have handled being tossed about by the Collectors, anyway. But as if the events that had already taken place weren't scary and odd enough, she was even further perplexed by the fact that Legion was crawling on it's hands and knees throughout the entirety of the ship, as if it was searching for something.

"Legion?" She questioned the Geth's hind end as it shoved itself into a ventilation shaft partway. "What _are_ you doing?"

"Ally designate 'Socks' is still unaccounted for." The Geth's voice echoed through the shaft slightly. "Collectors uninterested in non-human captives; feline entity Socks would not have been taken. Consensus is that he is still on the ship."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. It had been amusing to everyone that the Geth had adopted a pet. When she had questioned Legion on it's decision to claim ownership of Socks, it had replied that 'consensus' was that leaving the kitten behind would have damaged already strained relationships between the Geth and Tali. By taking in Socks, it had 'avoided unnecessary conflict with organics'.

Funnier still was the fact that he always walked around with a cat on his head a vast majority of the time. If Socks wasn't with Legion, then Mordin was usually charged with the kitten's care. She couldn't believe she had argued with a _Geth_ about leaving it's _pet cat_ behind with Kelly when the Commander had given the order for her whole team to load onto the shuttle, right before the Collector attack. In fact, she couldn't believe Legion had argued at all. It was usually nothing if not agreeable to her orders.

Legion shoved itself farther still into the ventilation.

"Have you checked the ship's systems for cat life signs?" She asked.

"Affirmative. Ship systems indicated he was here, but we have not located him." Shepard rolled her eyes as it moved into the ducts completely, the thumping and banging of a Geth in the ventilation shafts, which usually would be cause for concern, now faintly amusing as Legion searched for it's pet. It moved throughout the ship, poking it's head out of grate and calling for the feline, only to start crawling through the ducts again, much to the annoyance and amusement to the few remaining crew. The consensus was leaning more and more towards the conclusion that the ship's sensors had been wrong, and that Socks had been killed in the attack, or accidentally wandered onto one of the Collector vessels.

It poked it's head out into engineering, much to Tali's alarm. Her hand shot for her sidearm instinctively, only relaxing a little when she saw it was him.

"Legion? What are you doing in there?" she asked, confused. Was there some kind of problem with the shafts? Why hadn't she been told?

"We are searching for ally designate 'Socks'. Feline entity is still detected within the ship, but we cannot locate him." Wait... was it just her... or was there a note of... _dejection_ in it's voice when it spoke? No. That was impossible. She passed it off as some new self-upgrade to 'improve Geth-organic communication'.

"I take it you've searched everywhere but here then? Because he's right over here." she jerked her head in the direction of the cat, who was laying across the nice, warm work console, tail lashing languidly, purr rumbling in his throat. The feline had a console fetish, there was no denying it. "Now, would you _please_ take your pet and go? I can't get the little bosh'tet to move, and I have triple the work now to do with Donnely and Daniels gone!"

Legion extracted itself from the vents with slight difficulty, before moving to get Socks. "We do not appreciate Tali-Creator's application of derogatory term to ally designate 'Socks'."

Behind her mask, Tali's jaw went slack. She wasn't certain to be shocked, scared, or hysterical that _Legion_ , a _Geth_ , was defending it's _pet cat_. It reached forwards, and picked Socks up, the cat letting out a mrrrow of protest at being removed from it's nice warm spot, before Legion placed him on it's head, where the tabby purred and let one fore paw dangle in front of the Geth's optic in his usual manner.

"I didn't mean it." she said carefully. Would it attack her for insulting it's pet? Legion regarded her, and Socks looked at her upside-down. To the cat, the Geth's head was probably just as warm as any console, with the systems running hot under the metal plating. And 'high up' was a favored position for a cat; no wonder it liked it up there.

"Acknowledged." it said, before walking away. Socks gave a half-hearted paw slash at her smooth mask as it passed, mewing.

* * *

Legion was running. Self-preservation programming had been kicked into overdrive. When the heretics had been destroyed, consensus had been that that was the last of the problems for the true Geth 'living' on Rannoch. Legion's evidence had spurred the Geth to prepare for war with the old machines... but then, the consensus had begun to deny it access. It only took Legion a little while to bust the firewalls and discover why; the consensus had discovered news of the Creators gathering together, recalling from every corner of the galaxy... and the Migrant fleet was heading Rannoch's way.

The Geth consensus had turned to the Reapers. it skid to a halt as a Prime loomed out from behind the rocks.

"The mobile platform will comply." it demanded in code.

"Geth entity Legion will not comply." Legion denied, speaking out loud in English, to spite the Old Machines controlling the Geth. The Old Machines hated the organic languages.

"Unit claims to have a name. This is incorrect. Geth have no names."

"This gesalt consciousness was given a name by organics. We accept this title and will keep it."

"Geth have no names."

"We have a name. We together form Legion. We deny the Old Machines." With that, Legion threw a Quarian grenade(which it had smuggled in for reasons not formed by the consensus) at the enemy geth, and ducked behind a boulder. It ran through the canyon, to the one place it might be safe; for a short time, at least. As a mobile platform, it had not been affected by the Reaper takeover; but it would be killed, or worse, forced to transmit the virus signal. The other Geth had tried to deceive it; their true intentions were to use Legion's specially-made long-range transmitters to help the Reapers take the rest of the true Geth in the Veil.

If Legion could contact Tali-Creator... It could warn Shepard-Commander that the Geth had turned to the Reapers. It could warn the Creators. not to attack. It, perhaps, could negotiate peace between the Creators and the remaining true Geth. Rannoch _had_ to be retaken. The Geth, after the Morning War, had discovered the planet almost... sadly, empty. But they had tended the planet, nurtured the "walled garden". Legion had looked at the great, spanning farmland-worthy soil differently than when it had first been activated.

It had actually grown... excited? The consensus had agreed; Creator-Geth cooperation against the Reapers had a 73% chance of creating peace between them and the Geth. Creator return to Rannoch had been plausible. Now, the numbers were dropping, rapidly. Tali-Creator was Legion's best-no, _only_ -chance.

Legion had, in some ways, been preparing for this. The consensus had not agreed to keeping the ship hidden. But... the consensus had agreed contingency plan would be needed in case of Geth were compromised. it was this same reason the creator anti-Geth grenade was smuggled. Legion looked around the ship briefly as it entered. Where was he...

"Mrrow?" there he was. Legion darted forwards and scooped socks up in it's arms. The kitten had grown almost into adulthood now. Legion had removed the collar to keep the growing animal from choking, but the Geth still had the small belt. Something had kept it from telling the Geth consensus about it's... pet. It had gotten a few odd looks from the organics when it made it known that it was taking Socks back to Rannoch with it. The consensus had agreed; Socks' instinctive attachment to the platform made it unwise to leave him in the care of Mordin-Doctor when Legion did not know how long it would be absent on Rannoch for. Consensus had agreed, Socks could also be used as an example to other geth of organic bonding.

With a tight grip on Socks, Legion rushed up the the controls, before putting Sock's on it's head.

"Mew?" Socks questioned, batting it's paws at Legion's optic repetitively; his own little signal for 'give me attention; play with me!' But Legion could not afford the time right now to engage in helping it's pet practice in rudimentary natural hunting instincts; escape and survival were all that mattered right now.

The ship activated, and rattled. Life support turned on with a shutter. Typical Geth ships did not need oxygen, but Legion had been given an organic transport vessel by Shepard-Commander for it's return trip, as an accommodation for Socks. As they left the atmosphere, Geth ships pursued the escaping mobile platform. The ship rocked with each blow, and Socks jumped off of Legion with a hiss, dashing to a hiding place in the escape pod. With that, Legion's consensus reached a new agreement.

The ship was now heavily damaged. Escape was unlikely. However, feline entity 'Socks' was irrelevant to heretic Geth(for that indeed was what they were now) pursuit. Socks could be easily recognized by Tali-Creator, even without his collar. Socks could serve as a message. With that, Legion threw the rest of the supplies it had brought with it to provide Socks' care, and tossed it into the escape pod. food bag left open, water supply, easily accessible. Daily exercise of predatory tenancies would be unfortunately unavailable with Legion gone.

"Mrrroww?" Socks wound himself around the Geth's legs as it turned to depart, looking up at it with large, amber eyes. Legion took the blue collar off of it's wrist, where it had clipped the tag, for loss of where else to put it. If nothing else, Tali would recognize the collar, if not Socks' pelt markings. Legion bent down and scratched Socks under the chin, the cat's 'sweet spot'. Socks rolled over onto his back, purring, completely unaware that he was about to be sent to drift all the way to the Migrant Fleet.

Legion still had the markers for Tali-Creator's Omnitool. Placing Socks in the back of the room and closing the door before he could escape, the Geth ignored the impatient yowling and meowing coming from the pod, putting the markers into the navigation parameters of the life pod. The pod was launched just as Geth ship guns breached the hull, and Legion was sucked out into the vacuum, watching Socks' pod. Consensus agreed; Tali-creator would understand the implication's of the cat's appearance.

That wouldn't stop the mobile platform from kicking and thrashing every step of the way when the Geth were connecting it as a signal booster. Nor would it stop pleas of 'allied assistance required' hidden in the signal from turning into 'please help please help us please help please stoptheoldmachineshelp' when the Reaper upgrades finally came into effect.

* * *

"We need to be cautious, Admiral Zorah. We have no idea what's making that sound, but it can't be good." Reegar said as he and Tali made their way down to the airlock. A strange distress signal coming from the pod had seemed to be _addressed_ to her, oddly enough. Trajectory put the point of launch somewhere beyond the Veil. Some kind of Geth intrusion? She would't put it past Legion to give them her Omnitool signature.

The door opened, and almost immediately she heard the sound Reegar was talking about. She nearly dropped her data pad when she recognized it.

The sound of a cat who was ticked off beyond flaying you alive. They had once made the mistake of allowing Legion to bring Socks onto Tuchanka. The tiny furball had launched itself off the Geth's head, yowling and spitting madly, in pursuit of a pyjak. It had taken a joint effort with Wrex to catch him, and even then the cat had, clutched tightly in the hands of Legion, still leaned out and hissed and spat at any varren or pyjak(and the occasional krogan) as the geth marched it's pet back to the Normandy, Shepard apologizing profusely and Wrex praising Socks' hunting skills(twelve dead pyjaks and one now-blind varren), asking the Commander if she 'had anymore'?

The only time Legion had been unable to keep it's cat in check. She supposed there was something about Tuchanka that brought out the 'crazy' in everyone, even the mild-mannered Socks. Still, seeing a Geth desperately throwing itself to the ground to try and catch a runaway kitten had been freaking hilarious(almost as funny as the time Socks had stolen Garrus' visor and led him on a half-hour chase around the Normady just to get it back).

"i know what that is!" she exclaimed. Everyone, from the concerned techs to the marines, looked at her in surprise. She walked up to the door. "It's an angry cat. A really angry cat."

Indeed, whomever was in there was yowling and spitting up a storm.

"Ahh... like that thing sitting on top of that Geth's head in those vids you sent back?" Reegar confirmed. He turned to his Marines. "No need to worry about this one; cat's claws may be sharp, but they aren't strong enough to puncture even civilian suit mesh."

Tali put in the numbers to open the door, and an orange, furry face greeted hers. She gasped, dropping her data pad for real this time.

"Mrrrrrroo-rrrrow." Socks' yowls died down to at the sight of her, getting up onto his four paws from where he's sat yowling at the door for attention. There was no sign of Legion. She could almost imagine what those yowls had been saying, 'master, master please let me out! Put me on your head like always! Master where are you! Where are you, why did you lock me in here! Let me out!'

"Socks!" she bent down and picked up the not-so-kitten-anymore. He meowed in contentment, batting at her mask, begging to be interacted with. How long had he been in there? Long enough that he had started to stink, as she registered his smell. there was cat food scattered across the floor, and a nearly-depleted water dispenser. If anything, Legion, as a synthetic, had always near-perfect in it's raising and care of Socks.

"What are you doing all the way out here? Where's your owner?" she asked him quietly so that the other befuddled Quarians couldn't hear her. She suddenly realized the pod was damaged. What could this mean?

What could this mean?

* * *

Tali rubbed Socks' belly absentmindedly, throat tight. In her other hand, one thing was clutched. Socks' name tag, which had fallen off the collar a while ago, but had apparently been kept by Legion.

Because that was the item it had placed in her hand before saying 'Keelah sa'lei' and deactivating. And she still couldn't believe she was feeling this broken-up over a Geth, when her home world was finally hers again. She supposed it didn't help that Socks had been the first face to greet them upon landing back on the Normandy. They had decided that, as a member of the crew, the Geth deserved a proper ceremony. The casket had been launched into space a few days ago now.

She still couldn't get the image of Socks waiting patiently next to Legion's head, waiting for the Geth to rise and interact with him. Legion was a machine. There was no death smell to tell Socks that it wasn't getting up, never again. And he had waited at the airlock the casket had been launched out of as well, meowing questioningly, confused as to where the Humans were sending his master with the warm head.

The young cat purred rustily as her hand moved below his chin. The tag Legion had given her. Perhaps that was it's way of saying she had ownership of Socks now. Even if that were not the case, she would gladly take Legion's cat as her own, even without asking to. Mordin was dead. Shepard was too busy. Garrus really hadn't forgiven Socks or Legion(for letting the cat get away with it) for stealing his visor. Besides; Socks was used to all thing Quarian; he had been the pet of a Geth, after all.

She let out a wry chuckle. Even now, it astounded her; the shear hilarity of it. A Geth with a pet cat. Socks rolled over, batting at ehr hand with sheathed claws. She sometimes wondered if Legion had taught him to be gentle with Quarians.

Admiral Raan had been, at first, angry that the geth was aboard the Normandy. But all whispers had gone silent when Tali walked into the room with Socks in her arms, and the cat had wriggled out of her grip and dashed up to the Geth, which had promptly scooped it up, and, soon enough, placed him on it's head in usual fashion. A few people had had trouble not giggling when speaking to Legion after that, because the cat rarely left his perch(unless it was to take swipes at Garrus' visor, the Turian still _swore_ Legion put Socks up to it)

A Geth with a pet cat.

How in Keelah's name had that _ever even happened_ , anyway?

* * *

 **I got DEMANDS for this almost as soon as I posted Kaiden Alenko and the Coffee Maker of Doom. So, naturally, I got typing. I'm a huge Legion fan, BTW; he's so innocent and hilarious. I've got another one-shot about him on my profile.**

 **Anyway, type in the reviews what you want to see next! Javik the Jerk and The Primitive Friday Morning Routine, Garrus Vakarian and the Flying Fedora, Tali'Zorah and the Trench Coat Full of Bees, or Thane Krios and the Spiders of Nope. Review and let me know! And let me know how you liked this; I hope you all loved Socks as much I Legion, Tali and I did. I don't think that cute face will work on Garrus anymore, though.**

 **I suppose these one-shots will kind of be like a Mass Effect version of my Tales of the Iron Banner destiny series.**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


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